Adventures in Breastfeeding

Nothing intimidated me more during this pregnancy than attempting breastfeeding again. I had a very difficult time the first time around. Of course there were many obstacles right off the bat that made it challenging. I was 5 years younger and like many first time moms thought it was going to come natural. For some lucky first timers it does but, for many others it doesn't. In the states it can feel like the ultimate defeat as a mother. There are many folks who are so gung ho on the idea of nursing that many mothers that can not or choose not to are given unsolicited advice, presented with malice comments and harsh opinions. This was an experience I had the first time around. Many women have been known to say things like, 'Your just not trying hard enough', or ' You know giving your baby formula is like poisoning them'. These comments are inconsiderate enough but to a sleep deprived, stressed out, self conscious new mother they can be devastating. Especially when these comments come from fellow mothers. The very same women we'd like to provide us with positive support during such a trying time.

Anyway, enough said on my opinions of breast feeding Nazis. Suffice to say that I was nervous about the second time around. I do have to say that it's going well though. So far. I am taking it one day at a time. There are many things that have made it easier this time around though. I've had a ton of help, Samuel was a full term baby, when I had him I was able to experience "skin to skin" meaning that right when he came out they plopped him on me with a blanket and let him stay there for a while and did I mention, I've had a lot of help? I'd like to think I have a different attitude about things as well and I kinda spent 9 months preparing for what I (sort of) knew was coming.

The labor went well and the hospital stay was nice in fact, I'm a big advocate of giving women more time at the hospital after delivery! 2 nights just isn't enough.

Since 3 weeks ago, Samuel has become much more alert and he's using his hands much more. He thinks for some reason that flailing his hands in his mouth when he's about to latch, helps his frantic search for food. When in reality it just delays the milk coma. He does tend to use me as a pacifier from time to time and it has become irritating. He's no fool for the "binky". He's taken it several times but for some reason I think he's on to us. He has his cranky time every day. It usually starts around 4:00-5:00 at night and continues until around 8:00-9:00. Many folks call it "The Witching Hours" Right now it's about 5:30 and he's spent an hour and a half on me nursing. I passed him off to Daddy for a little break. As soon as Dad takes him, he starts crying. It's as if Mike started pinching him or something. It's given Mike a chance to try all different kinds of holds on him though. He must have found something that's working because I don't hear anything. I have been pumping. My good friend Nathalie gave me her pump. Knowing how much I've used it this time around, I have to say I would have put down good money for one of my own. Even renting one from the hospital is a good thing. If anything, I think it helps with my milk supply. I absolutely love the Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags. They make cleaning the pump parts and bottles so easy. I also really love Lily Padz re-usable nursing pads. They are so much better than the disposables in that they don't show at all under clothing. I sent some to my sister-in-law who just had a baby. I hope she doesn't think I'm too weird. Oh yes, and a nursing cover. I like to call them hooter hiders. They used to go by that name but now that brand is known as Bebe au Lait. All though their covers are very cute, nursing moms can get just as cute covers on Etsy for a fraction of the cost. Although these covers are handy to have in public, I've hated using them. They are hot and cumbersome, especially when I'm still learning good technique.

Our journey home should be a little simpler due to the fact that I won't have to take any bottles or formula on a 11 hour flight back home. I do have to say though that the idea of being able to go 6 hours without feeding (with formula) to the breast fed 3 hours (which a lot of times turns into every hour) does seem tempting at times!

Breastfeeding is an adventure but this time around it's been a positive one.

Ettore's

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's Ettore.....

Alright I know that's not the right words but I thought that the idea fit. As everyone has heard me complain about during this pregnancy, I endured gestational diabetes during my pregnancy and during that time was extremely diligent with my numbers. After Samuel's arrival, I requested a present from a local European style cake shop. There is a story behind this. Ettore's was the place we used for our wedding cake a little over 5 years ago. (April 23rd same as my parents anniversary). We tasted an array of cake flavors and decided that the "princess" flavor be on the top tier of the cake. It was the flavor that Mike and I enjoyed the most (raspberry with white chocolate, and a mild almond butter cream frosting) but knew that it might not suit everyone's pallet. Needless to say during the festivities, that flavor was the first to go at the reception and Mike and I enjoyed the bottom chocolate tier (that was very good but no princess flavor!). It's been 5 years and I still hadn't let it go. It was always in the back of my mind. Several weeks ago I was reminded when we drove my Ettore's and I mentioned it to Mike.

On our way home from the hospital we made a quick stop. Low and behold, Mike got us a princess flavored cake from Ettore's specially ordered (they usually used whip frosting not butter cream) in a green color (he could have pink or green but pink is for girls!) . I have the best husband ever. Besides the whole cake thing, he has been a tremendous source of help and support during these first few days. I am truly blessed.

I'm still snacking on the cake and luckily no one in my family likes the flavor so, I get it all to myself!

No Baby Yet-Please stop asking

I am officially in a VERY bad mood. If one more person says, "No baby yet?" Or, "boy, you should start walking a lot." I'm going to scream. Obviously, I have no baby yet. If I did, the huge bulge in front of me would be outside of me wrapped up in a carrier or stroller and, look a lot cuter. I now have weekly doctors appointments and now, since I have a lot of fluid I have additional bi-weekly appointments at the hospital to monitor the babies movements. I've been having signs for weeks that it should be any day. I've tried just about every method to speed things along.

I know I should be thankful that I'm getting some of the best medical care I can get and this baby has been monitored better than Fort Knox. This most likely will be the last time I'll be pregnant and I should be appreciating that I'll be having a nice fat term baby. After all, that is what I prayed so hard for. I guess I just didn't factor in everything when I requested that. :) I wanted so much for Mike's parents to be here for Sam's arrival and they will be leaving in a couple of days and, I've been away from home for 2 months. Mike's been away from home and work now for 1 month. We all miss home and our routines. I love my parents but staying with anyone for this long and living out of suitcases is taxing.

This is my sounding board.....sorry if I'm sounding rediculous. Chalk it up as a crazy pregnant woman.

Another Check up

Doctor says I'm doing well. Samuel is in position and I'm at 1 centimeter......Mike and I went for a 1 hour walk last night. Nothin'.

Mike's parents are coming into town and all I can think about is having this baby so that they can meet him during their visit. We were all betting on an early baby and it looks as though we've all been duped. He's just way too comfortable in there!

Everything else with me is healthy. My total weight gain is actually staying pretty much at 20 lbs. which I hope stays the same. I don't even want to think about my body having to come back to normal!

We see you!

One of the benefits of having gestational diabetes is that we are fortunate enough to get another sneak peek of Samuel before his arrival. The idea is to check the size of the baby to make sure that he's not too big (one of the side effects of a GD baby is that they can turn into little incredible hulks. The result can be shoulder injury during birth). I wasn't too worried because I've been really following the rules when it comes to my diet restrictions and my sugar numbers have stayed for the most part within the range or very close to it.

Going into the ultrasound lab today I honestly wasn't expecting much. At this point because the skeleton's bones are dense (as they should be) there is a lot of shadowing which makes it hard to see images. I was pleasantly surprised. The little guy is in position and ready to go. We saw a pretty clear face shot and profile shot. I have to say the best part was watching him yawn and stick his tongue out. He has his Daddy's tongue. Also known as the Gene Simmon's tongue. There was also the quintessential image of the thumb in mouth. Oh yes, and for the 3rd time I was notified once again that it's another boy!

Can't wait to see you Samuel!

Waking up is hard to do

Last night my parents celebrated the garage sale that they had by making a really good dinner. BBQ Steak, potatoes, asparagus, and salad. My brother was in town from college visiting, so it was a full house with 8 people. Needless to say, it ended up being a late night and Mike and I made it later by watching an episode of Carrier. Joshua also stayed up past his bedtime and yesterday for him was a sugar fest. I thought it would be a good treat on a Saturday to give him a sugary cereal, so for breakfast he got to have some Cocoa Puffs. A few hours later we went over to my parents old house to help them with a garage sale. They had doughnuts there, so of course Grammy gave him a doughnut. After we finished up with the garage sale there was a small break between sugar binges. I gave him turkey pepperoni, cheese and some olives for a lunch/heavy snack. Evening set in and my sister decided she was going to make cookies. Guess who helped her clean the beaters? After dinner he was treated to gummy worms and M&M's for dessert. SHEESH!

I was hoping for sure that since he stayed up late, we would be able to sleep in. Unfortunately, I was wrong on that assumption. Around 6:00am he started tossing and turning. When we are all sleeping in the same room, it's hard to just ignore even tossing and turning. Then the smacking noise starts and his exaggerated yawning sounds coming into play. That's also when he starts picking his nose in a very noisy fashion. I thought that I might be able to ignore this. However, a few minutes earlier I got up to use the restroom (in typical pregnant lady fashion) and it gave Samuel just enough room to start doing somersaults in my belly and kicking my ribs. With distractions like this, I just decided to surrender and get up. Playhouse Disney is my best friend on mornings like this.

The crazy part is, it won't get better any time soon. I will be getting up in the middle of the night soon for more than just a potty break. I better appreciate it now!

Yesterday, we also took a trip to the Goodwill. Joshua needed jeans and even at Target, they were selling for about $20. That's almost the same price that they were selling men's jeans. I couldn't bring myself to pay that much for something that he would most likely grow out of or tear up 6 months down the road. It's not just Goodwill near my parents store but the Goodwill Superstore. Sweet! We found 3 pairs of jeans for him. The best part of going to a Goodwill in California is that we could find barely used snowsuits. In this part of California, most folks go to the snow a few times during the season (Lake Tahoe) and they are done, so I was thrilled when I found a snowsuit for Joshua. I know that we'll be going to see the snow more when we go home (Mt. Fuji here we come!). I also found him some great snow boots and Mike found a nice pair of shorts. I also found a still-in-the-package meal/eating set for the baby. Playtex brand, with Baby Einstein characters. All for the grand total of $29.00. Only $9.00 more than one pair of jeans at Target. I figure at this point in Joshua's childhood, he doesn't care about name brands. Sure, I splurge and get him shirts at Gymboree & Gap (on sale!) and I spent a small fortune on his school shoes because we found out he'll need inserts for his flat feet, but I'm still OK going to get him previously owned clothes as well. I'll worry about going into debt over the name brand crud when he gets older, but for now give me all the hand me downs I can get!

Belly

I'm huge.....still getting comments from folks. Such is the life of a 37 weeker but I'm not complaining. I'm glad I've been able to blog about this since I might not remember this on my own and it may be the last time I'll be pregnant so, I must relish every little bit of it. Here are a couple more pictures that Mike took. One of our regrets when I was pregnant with Joshua was that we didn't get enough pictures.

My childhood friend (who just had her second baby too) put on a great baby shower for me last weekend. Great food, family, and friends. Husbands and kids welcome. We played some great games and the men played one as well. (Dress the baby doll while they were being timed) After this shower, I know that Samuel will be the best dressed baby on the block!

Other than that, we've been taking it very easy. We can't go anywhere because well, Samuel could come any day. So, it's been low key. The baby announcements are almost all put together and the thank you notes are prepared. We are as ready as we'll ever be. Just started to predict a date.

What's your guess?

Expectant and New Dad Website

Shhhh...

Don't tell Nicki, but I'm hijacking her side blog to let you guy readers know about a site that we found for the "silent" half of the pregnancy game... the soon-to-be dads and the new dads. We all know that during a pregnancy, the momma bear gets the attention as her belly swells and her walking becomes more of a waddle. Sometimes the soon-to-be dads feel like they're a little on the sidelines just watching the process in the shadows. Let's face it, our partners deserve the recognition for all that they go through. I wouldn't want to trade places with Nicki during this pregnancy for anything... even if it came with an open invitation to Fort Knox, a skeleton key, and a 15 minute shopping spree to grab what I could.

Anyway, for all of you expectant fathers and brand spankin' new dads out there, I highly recommend this site:

The Funky Stork dot com

Look How Far We've Come

Yes, still pregnant. My doctors appointment went well today. Yesterday, I thought I had some contractions but nothing too serious. Today the nurse practitioner checked me just to make sure. Baby is still high and nothing unusual. The good news is I don't have to check my blood 4 times a day only twice which is nice. Good news too.....I'm actually down a pound from my last check up. I suppose it depends if that's good or bad but for me-who's feeling like a small planet, it's good news.

At this point I've surpassed the time that I was pregnant with Joshua which is pretty exciting. I'm also feeling the little kicker much more. Samuel is more into doing slow rolls (maybe because he has to use more strength to get his big body turned over in there). I've gotten to the point where I can feel lumps in my tummy and try and guess what body part it is. (Is that a foot in my ribs?) I've also been able to get anxious this time around. I really can't wait to see that face of his and count his fingers and toes. We do have an updated belly shot and it should be showing soon! Stay tuned.

Announcing.....

No, no baby yet. We are working on baby announcements A LOT. Something that we didn't do with Joshua. Well, we have our excuses but the main one was.... we were stressed out. There was a lot going on during that time in our lives. Hopefully our son won't hold it against us all his life. Now that we have a little more time and resources we are doing some things with the second one that we weren't able to do with the first. Namely baby announcements. Mike is here in California now which has been nice. Despite him not working... we've had no problem finding things to do.

Joshua will be starting kindergarten next week with the threat that in 3 weeks he will be relocated to another school. Yes, like many public schools throughout the region, his school is facing overcrowding. What California has done is set up a bussing system to another school close by for children who have been "cut off". I'm hoping that it doesn't happen seeing as his first year of school might be filled with going to 3 schools but unfortunately, it's out of my hands.

Joshua had his Buzz Lightyear birthday party last week and we were fortunate enough to have a lot of friends join us, including some special ones from Japan. Well, now they are in Monterey. He is so into Buzz Lightyear right now and unfortunately it's a hard toy to come by. I had to order his party supplies on line. As Mike has told me... Disney owns us! We are suckers when it comes to Buzz Lightyear. We were fortunate enough to find a Buzz Lightyear Halloween costume at the Disney store for Joshua this year - complete with a flashing light button.

For a gift, Mike sent me this very very cute pajama set for the hospital. It includes a matching gown for the baby. Which reminds me, I've got to fill up that "going to the hospital" bag! I'd have to say with this one, we are planning much better. The same weekend that Joshua was born, we were planning on buying the nursery furniture and the weekend prior, I think I had just returned from my baby shower. Our family is pretty notorious for having early babies. My cousin's water broke at her baby shower. I'm hoping that I can keep this one in longer!

Travel with Baby Showers

OK, I thought I would blend the title together. I woke up at 5:00AM this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Either this has to do with my pregnancy or, I'm super anxious about my flight tomorrow. Probably a little bit of both.

Last night some close friends of mine held a baby shower for me. The decorations were so cute (surfboards, lanterns, and swim trunks) and the food was great (Make you own ice cream sandwiches). There were some great ladies there a mix of on and off basers which made for fun conversation. We played a game of hanging clothes on the line while holding a baby doll and talking on the phone. (All the while creating a fake conversation on the phone). Then I opened all the gifts. So many baby clothes and fun things! Which I really needed. I've been able to get most of the gear it's just the clothes and little things that I was needing.

I will post pictures when I can. Mike and I went to together and bought me a camera that I could have during my travels. A little Canon Power Shot SD1100 IS Digital Elph. I wanted something that was made in Japan and not China which the Japanese Salesman at the NEX was very happy about. The Canon Rebel is just too big for me to take and, Mike wouldn't give that up for 2 whole months! I am now under obligation to take a lot of pictures and post them. Something that has been Mike's domain in the past. (no pressure!) I'm super anxious about leaving for such a long time. I will really miss my friends here. I've made so many close ones. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and I hope they are happy about seeing me but it's a long time to be away from my husband and friends and house and life! Stay tuned. This Summer should be interesting as I deal with pregnancy, childbirth, reverse culture shock, and family drama!

Just recently, I made a new dessert called Chocolate Sludge a dessert fit for 2 soon to be 3 boys in the house.

6 More Days

So Mike has come home from being away in Singapore and Diego Garcia for 2 weeks and in 6 days it will be my turn to leave. During his time away, I stayed really busy with my great group of friends but it was still hard at times. I have to say I'm not really looking forward to leaving. I do love my family but it will be hard being away from home and Mike for all that time. Believe it or not, we get a long pretty well. Plus, now that he's home I feel this overwhelming pressure to nest in one weeks time. So, I'm going just a tad loony. At the same time, I've spent so much time out of the "baby loop" I've sorta forgotten what a baby needs or, what I should have for a baby. That thought came to a reality when my girlfriend said:

Girlfriend: "So, do you basically have everything that you need?"
Me: : "Sure, I think so. I mean, babies don't need much."
Girlfriend: "So you have like burpcloths.....?"
Me: "Uh, no not yet"

I didn't even really think about that. So, I looked up a little list online of things that babies need and I'll probably go by that. I'm planning to get most things like layette and little things when I'm back in the states. It's less expensive than out in town and I'll buy it at the location rather than buying it all now and then mailing it.

Of course the second time around, there are things that I know I probably won't need. We never had a changing table for Joshua. In the beginning we just changed him in the crib and later on we just changed him wherever. I remember for Joshua's baby shower, poeple made me a ton of blankets that were never used because, well, we lived in San Diego and the apartment usually never dipped below 65 degrees even in the winter and during the Spring, Summer & Fall with no AC it was 80+ in there. This time around I know we'll need more cold weather equipment.

The winters are a lot cooler here and Summer usually doesn't come into full swing until around late June so, I'll need snowsuits and such. I think I'll have to invest in snowsuits for both Joshua and the baby. Since, Joshua is getting more and more into the snow and I'm hoping that we get out more during the winter.

EnoSpa

Karri and I had the opportunity to go to the EnoSpa on Enoshima Island yesterday for some massages! A side note that it can be a hunt to find a good massage here. The base offers massage but all fully clothed. BOOO! I was also looking for prenatal massage as, in my condition, I can't get a regular or shiatsu massage. There are curtain areas on my body that are off limits like pressure on my ankles which can lead to premature labor.

Karri really worked hard to make all of the arrangements. Since the spa only speaks Japanese a friend of hers booked the appointments and made sure that they had a special table for my belly. We didn't have strait forward directions there so, it took us longer to get there than expected. The spa was kind enough to call. (Somone who knew Engrish asked if we were still coming) We felt horrible to push back our appointment to 12:00 but they said it was OK. The spa itself is fairly easy to find. We were just scared Gaijin drivers! We definitely felt like VIPs. Because of our appointment, they reserved a parking spot in their garage for us. An employee flagged us down from the road and waved us into the garage. Normally there is no parking for the spa. However, there is public parking on the island. The place itself seemed very shi shi overlooking the ocean.

Because we were on a time restraint and because I'm pregnant, we couldn't really enjoy the onsen part. We went strait up to the appointment massage area after washing. Once in the room, I laid down not on a western massage table, but a soft futon on a raised floor. The futon had a cushy reclined pillow with a hole for by belly. It felt so good to lay on my front side again! My masseuse was very gentle and used all natural grape seed oil and hot towels. After the massage, I showered again and was invited to sit in the lounge covered with a warm towel and served raspberry herbal tea and dried fruit. HEAVEN!

The base price was 9000 yen for the massage but after all of the spa fees (I had to become a member, access to all the floors of the spa, first time fee etc.) it ended up being about 13000 for the whole thing. Which isn't too different from a good massage in the states.

I can't wait to go there again when our little mango is out and we are both healthy so I can try all of the other services. It's perfect for an all day date. They have a swimsuit area and tradition onsen. They also have a relaxation room, shiatsu massage level, and eateries. I wouldn't mind getting a shiatsu again and I really miss onsen.

A Window

So, I was going through our old picture files and came across these gems.



How did it go by so fast? Here is a window into our future! If you're interested in seeing more baby pictures of Joshua or, our early married life in San Diego click here

Yogi

A good friend of mine, Karri is the Yoga instructor on base. She is awesome......all of the other Yoga instructors are awesome here too but she is the awesomist because she's my friend. Anyway, I finally dragged my butt down to her prenatal yoga class yesterday. I had been doing some videos at home and they helped but her class was great. It helped stretch out my calves which are notorious for cramping up and helped stretch out my rib cage which is getting more and more crowded these days. If anyone reading this is pregnant and residing on or attached somehow to Yokosuka Navy Base try her class. For first time moms or soon to be moms in who are new to the area it's a great opportunity to meet other folks like you! She also teaches Power Yoga and Mommy and Me yoga. I always always always feel better physically and well as emotionally after leaving her class. She'll usually end her class with a thought or begin her class with a theme. At the end of this class she ended with this thought: with all the discomforts of pregnancy that we have be comforted by the blessing that we have. Not everyone can experience this and we are so fortunate to have this opportunity. I'm fortunate to not only once but twice have this blessing so, for now I am grateful.....ask me in a few months though and I may have to read this again!

Today, I went to Akachan Hanpo with a couple of mommy friends. The store is like a Japanese Babies R Us. The prices were reasonable and the mall that it was in was huge! Check it out if you are in the market for baby goods. They are located at Kawasaki Station (JR) in the humongous mall there. Oh yeah. They also have a CPK there! I had Carne Asada Pizza. Thanks for the great time Jenn & Nina.

24 Weeks

A little side note, that belly shot down there is not me.....wish it was it's pretty beautiful but I am not so brave or tan. Got my 24 weeks update email. He's just about over a pound and is about a foot long. Much like an ear of corn.....I still like Mango better though!

Fruity Pebbles

My friend Nathalie was kind enough ( I say that with a hint of sarcasm) to give me a box of fruity pebbles before they departed on their adventure move to Korea. Fruity pebbles are my favorite trashy cereal ever! Friday was a Fruity Pebble night. Nathalie had just left on the bus to Narita with her family and I was feeling horribly sad. I stopped and got some flowers for a friend of mine who was equally feeling the pain of Nathalie leaving. I was starting to feel better after doing something nice for a good friend when I ran into an acquaintance from Starbucks. I fondly refer to him as a fellow Starbucks hag. During the first few months here in Yokosuka, Starbucks was my regular haunt. I met this guy there. He's retired military and his wife works as a teacher at the base elementary school. Any how, I hadn't seen him in a while and he was happy to see that I was pregnant. He asked when my due date was (Oct. 15th) upon hearing this his eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Wow, I thought you were about ready to pop!" I then proceeded to explain to him that he should never ever say things like that to a pregnant women. He found my lecture amusing and cute. (I was pretty much wanted to show him the meaning of pop to the jaw.....forgive me it's the hormones talking) We got off the subject and he then asked if " I had been walking". That's when the conversation ended and I went to my car. There were a lot of things I thought about doing or saying during that conversation such as, "sure, I walk.....all the way to the liqueur store everyday and buy myself a six pack, some ding dongs, and a pack of smokes then I go home and watch my soaps.....JACK A%@! " or maybe this ones better," zits and boils pop....pregnant women don't pop. They give birth. You know, that whole miracle of life?!" I kept on telling myself that he's an older man and comes from a generation where it was the norm to say things like that to pregnant women. I have no idea why the statement, 'you look like your ready to pop!' was ever deemed OK by the socialization police in any decade.

I already feel like a house without being reminded of it by people off the street. That night, I poured myself a hefty bowl of Fruity Pebbles and went to town. I haven't eaten them in a very long time. In fact I noticed on the box that they are now considered a Sensible Solution. They aren't fooling anyone! How someone can consider these pebbles of goodness healthy is beyond me.

I suppose it's a right of passage for any pregnant woman. We will always be targeted for unsolicited advice, tummy touching and comments. I'll never forget my girlfriend telling me that a man at Home Depot pointed and laughed at her in the parking lot (she was in her 3rd trimester and feeling every bit of it on a Summer day, slowly making her way to her car). I think she went home and cried. I don't mind the tummy touching so much as I mind the advice and comments.

Just remember readers, before you make it a Fruity Pebbles night for some other poor unassuming pregnant women out there with a brainless statement, just think of saying any of these 3 statements instead, "You look so good!" or "Your just all belly" or "Your glowing".

Oh yes, and one more thing especially to the men out there. I don't care if she's got a t-shirt on that states 'I'm not fat I'm pregnant' on it. Don't ever EVER ask her if she's pregnant until she says something. EVER! Because if that woman isn't, your liable to throw her for a 6 month loop of sadness or you'll maybe get a really black eye.

Our Little Mango

My days have been so busy of scheduling and rescheduling that it's been pretty crazy. Our good friends are leaving for their next adventure in Korea. We are planning to visit them in their new home some day in the future baby in tow.

I was looking at my old "favorites" preserved in my link tab and came across this one: http://www.hooilohouse.com/?source=overture

This has been saved for years. I look at it every once and a while and dream of my one day fantasy vacation there. I've been to Hawaii but this hotel is so much like a small little B & B that it really does remind me of paradise. Someday we'll go. For now, we have dreams of Asia still awaiting us and we'd like to get to it before the little mango starts walking.

Yes, right now he's called our little mango. I read my most recent pregnancy update from babycenter.com and they informed me that my baby measures about 11 inches long, weighs about a pound and is about the shape of a mango.

Mike is headed to Singapore soon and hopefully will check out the place for us. We hear that it's a good place to take children although a little pricier than many of the other surrounding destinations. Probably not as bad as Japan but not Thailand either. So, for now we are saving for baby and hoping that we'll have some money in the first year to do a little traveling too.

One of the things that we've learned is making a check off list to prepare for baby. The one thing that we learned the first go round is to review our insurance policy. Also, to pick out a pediatrician before delivery. Because of all the trouble I had nursing last time, I'll also pursue a good lactation consultant. Also, we learned not to wait until the 3rd trimester to start getting everything that we need. Joshua didn't even have furniture in his nursery upon his arrival. In fact, the Saturday that I went into labor was the Saturday that we were supposed to go shopping for nursery stuff. I guess he didn't want to wait.

I am going to try and integrate clothe diapers in as well this time around. The average baby goes through about 5000 diapers before being potty trained. Disposable diapers are not very biodegradable and there is more and more evidence that it's leading to children who don't potty train as quickly. The United States has one of the latest potty training ages. One theory is that disposables work so well that children don't feel wet when they have an accident. I know that these are all theories but hey, I figure if I save a few diapers from going into a landfill than I'm doing my part. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a diaper service here in Japan period much less one that will come onto base. From what I've heard they are little behind the curb on that. Which surprises me because in every Japanese neighborhood there is an army of deliveries happening during the day. Milk men, black cat, groceries, dry cleaning, etc. etc. While I'm in the states, I'm hoping to use Tidee Didee Diaper service. While I'm here, my girlfriend suggested using Fuzzi Bunz. Her husband is a pediatrician and they've used them for both their daughters....so it's a pretty good source! After checking out all the reviews they look like there about the best out there. I may start out just buying about 5 of them (they are an investment) and then using disposable at night and during travel. Again, it's not perfect but it is a step in minimizing waste. I'll have to keep the status on that updated.

Massage

Prenatal massage has become more popular but, for years I can remember this service being unavailable. Funny the one time in my life I am in dire need of a rubdown is when it's unavailable and advised that I not receive a professional massage. Thankfully, the market for prenatal message has grown and my girlfriend has found a spa that offers it close by. A couple of my girlfriends and I made reservations for a prenatal massage at the Enoshima Spa. YAY! I'm very excited.

Because schedules have been so crazy, I haven't been able to get a date down yet but, I'm planning on going to Akachan Hanpo in Kawasaki which is the equivalent to a Babies R Us. I'd love to see all the Japanese baby stuff!

I'm started to nest just a little bit but I think the upcoming travel to Sacramento is speeding it up. Mike will be around here for a while but I want to make sure some things are in order before I leave. ( Like the nursery) We have the crib up and a small table. I'm on the hunt for a good comfortable chair. I'd like one that reclines or something very comfortable that I can sleep in during those long "sleepless" nights. The problem is for some reason the Japanese don't sell to many rockers and on base, they really only sell clunky recliners that are HUGE overstuffed monsters. If I can't find anything I'll do fine on the couch or maybe just set up a futon in the babies room. We'll see.

Cool little tid bit that I learned today at my doctors apt was that a pregnant womans uterus grows to the equivalent of how many weeks she's along. For example, I'm 22 weeks so, my uterus measures 22 cm. Pretty cool! According to my weekly emails, my baby is about the size of a spaghetti squash and weighs about 1 lb. He's even starting to get tiny tooth buds underneath his gums.

Pop!

Look out because here come the belly shots. I had to wait until I felt good and this was one of those times. Our good friends Bob and Bridget were baptizing their new baby boy Paul and we all looked our best for the occasion. I was wearing my favorite maternity top and pants and my face was painted.

Where is my mind?

I think I know. It's been abducted by the alien that is the baby inside my tummy. I have a bruise on my head from hitting my head on the corner of a kitchen cabinet door that I left open. I have a stubbed toe and sore hand from banging it on a wall. You know, the type of walls that just jump right out in front of you? Lately, full glasses of liquid have been taking leaping bounds off the table. It may have something to do with my sudden clumsiness. I was always a little clumsy but this is ridiculous. 2 spilled drinks in 2 days? What am I, 3 years old? I'm constantly forgetting things as well and not flippant unimportant things either. I have to write EVERYTHING down.
Scientist have proven that a woman's brain will actually shrink ever so slightly while pregnant. Then return back to normal once the little brain sucker is delivered. Don't worry. It may sound as though I'm complaining but I'm not. It really is all part of the process. When I was young (like really young), I used to pray to g-d that one day I be able to experience being pregnant. G-d hasn't answered my prayer once but now twice which makes me very blessed. It's something that is completely and utterly feminine. At least in my humble opinion. There are definitely parts of it that are definitely un-lady-like. I'm sure that there are many things that Emily Post may frown upon during the 9 er, 10 months of pregnancy. Weird dreams, stretch marks, potty breaks, heart burn, itchy skin, calf cramps, crowded ribs, overheating, crankiness, crying, fear, excitement, anticipation, and joy (and this is just the PG rated list). Like everything in life, I will never get these moments back so I better take it all in now.

Huffin' It

This weekend since the sun decided to grace up with it's presence, we decided to take the ferry to Chiba Mother Farm. It was really a lot of fun but we spent a lot of doe and for some reason worked ourselves pretty hard. Especially me.

I guess I'm starting to realize I'm not as light on my feet as I was a couple of months ago. Today was my gym day but I skipped it. I was really worn out.

In other news, I felt the baby kick for the first time on the outside of my stomach last night. However, when Mike came upstairs all was quiet in the oven. I think it was because I jumped up from bed in a panic because I left the sausages that I bought in my purse. No worries though. They were vacuum sealed. We had them for dinner tonight and to quote the famous TV chef Rachel Ray, "YUMMO!"

Wednesday I'm holding a Mommy baby play group at my home. I'm "moderator" of a yahoo group. I use that term lightly because I never really like to be in charge of a group of friends. I'm rather the secretary for the site. There have been a lot of new members to the group that started about 2 years ago. The playgroup was something that we did originally in the group. However, after many of the babies turned into toddlers and then preschoolers our (mommy) lives started to become separated by different school schedules and such. With the new members being a little left in the dust. I'm trying to add the cohesiveness that we had before. Part of this is selfish on my part. Many of the "originals" of the group are leaving and it's been a long time coming that I've got to put myself out there and make new friends. Another selfish move is that pretty soon, I'll be part of the baby group once more and will need to be reminded of all of those little things about babies that I forgot.

Lastly though, I want the group to stay true to it's original form. In the beginning we were a fairly small group who all knew each other one way or another. Some of our husbands had similar jobs but the best part was that we came together as a group of mothers above all else. We weren't an official spouses group. These are wonderful & helpful to have don't get me wrong. Spouses groups are so useful during the first few months here and throughout a tour overseas or in the military in general. However, having a group of ladies/moms separate from a spouses group, just to vent, ask for advice, or feel comfortable around (without worrying about professional anything) is so helpful. To be able to find friends that aren't necessarily related to your spouses career. I love my husband and support him 100% but I don't always want to be recognized as 'This is Mike's wife he's a *fill in blank* for the Navy'. I always felt this Mom group (because of all the fantastic friends) gave me a sense of identity. So, I'm trying to go back to the basics. Keeping it fairly small, supportive, and helpful.

It's a Boy

You read right. The technician was 95% that it's a boy. It was right after giving birth to Joshua when I said that I would have all boys! I have no complaints. Although I did have visions of decorating a violet nursery or using a cherry blossom theme, then later in life doing her hair and dressing her up if it was a girl. I feel excited that there will be one more boy in the house, though. I did do some pouting at first and my wonderful husband came home from work with a card, a Lindt chocolate bar and a very cute Carters baby one piece that said "smile".

By that last line I'm sure it's easy to tell that I am already spoiled by my 2 boys. There's something about my son picking me a dandelion and saying, "Here mommy, this is for you because you're so pretty." That will never get old. I find dried ones in my jacket pockets all the time. Plus, nothing beat the cute little baby boy outfits.

I'm also thankful above everything that the little booger is healthy. (I type 'booger' with the greatest affection) In fact, the technician had a little trouble getting good pictures and had to take some extra time because he was so active during the ultrasound. Usually in the morning and evening is when I feel tiny kicks and tumbles. Mike can't feel them yet but he's still talking to him. Unfortunately, we didn't get any body or feet pics but we got a good profile pic and also got to watch him stick his fingers in his mouth.

Last night, after finding out the gender, our favorite babysitter came to watch Joshua and we went to Yokohama Sky Tower with plans to have dinner at El Torito. Unfortunately (started out unfortunate but turned into a fortunate) for us, the whole restaurant was reserved for a big party so we ended up going next door to Antonio's. It ended up to be a blessing in disguise. The Italian restaurant had some delicious food. We had garlic bread and handmade sausage to start and Pesto and vegetable tomato pasta for our entrees. I had fresh squeezed blood orange juice and Mike had an Italian Beer. It was expensive but the view and super fresh ingredients were worth it. We also ran into one of our good friends, Miyako. She used to work with Mike and we've gone out several times for ladies night. We've lost touch recently mostly because I've been a little flaky but after seeing her it really sparked my fire again to stay in touch. The odds of seeing her at Antonio's was pretty low too. Out of all the people we could have seen! What a great surprise.

Now we are down to the important business of names and nursery! We are thinking either Samuel Charles of Charles Samuel for a boy. I'm Jewish and Mike is Catholic, so we like to compromise and pick names from the old testament. One of the girl names that we were thinking of was Delilah but after remembering the biblical story about Delilah I didn't necessarily want to use that one. We decided on Hannah Marie for a girl. It's easy to say and not too flowery. I liked Hannah Rebekah but Mike thought that it was too much old spelling. (FYI Hannah is actually a biblical name from the book of Samuel... she was the mother of Samuel.)

As far as the nursery goes, I may have picked out some bedding from Etsy but I'm not quite sure. I was going to take a look at some local fabric stores and see if there is anything I liked better that I can maybe make myself. My good friend Lindi, who just happens to be the Kanto Plain craft queen, has offered to take me to a fabric store in Yokohama. I think that I have mentioned Etsy before but I absolutely love some of the things they sell. The site is basically a way for people to sell the things that they make. Almost like a giant online craft festival but much trendier. My good friend Dayna recommended it to me a while back after I saw her bag and thought it was fabulous. I'd also like to get a chair and dresser to start off in the nursery as well. We've got some time, but at the same time, things like furniture are pretty limited here. We've either got the furniture store on base or Ikea; everything else is just really pricey and not very comfy. I'd like the chair to be comfy for those all nighters. However, I do have one of the world's most evil couches downstairs for that very purpose. Adam and Tom can attest to it's powers. As soon as we plop ourselves down on it, it sucks us in.

As far as gear goes I'm pretty much set. As most first time moms will admit, we had to have all the "new" stuff. No matter what anyone told us, we had to have brand new. However, I've hopefully become a little wiser. Many of the gadgets like swings, highchairs, bouncy chairs, and exersaucers are expensive, take up a lot of space and usually need to be stored or gotten rid of by the end of the first year or year and a half of the babies life. Getting them second hand if possible is the best bet. A stroller is a little bit different. Invest in a GOOD stroller that you absolutely LOVE. Compromising on price for your second choice, usually doesn't work out in the end. A stroller is usually used for at least 4 years or maybe longer if you have another one. It's one of the products you'll use the longest. If you cheap out, one year down the road you may realize it's a POS and buy another one. Usually at the end of 4 years you may have gone through 3 strollers and ended up paying more than if you just would have bought the one you LOVED in the first place. For me, I need a durable compact stroller. I already bought my car seat secondhand. I'm planning on purchasing a frame for it in the beginning. They are inexpensive and the first few months it will probably prove the most practical. I've got a nice Maclaren that I bought second hand for Joshua when he was about 3 and is still in great condition so I'll probably use that one once I feel like my arm is going to fall off from lugging around the infant carrier. However, there's still question as to whether I should go strait to the Maclaren because the baby may need a little more back support. We shall see. I'll stop my ranting now about strollers. Most of this stuff I will most likely by when I go back home anyway. Outlet stores here I come!!

I'm sure that many folks may roll their eyes at my endless materialistic rants about shopping however, just about every American woman living here has fantasies about walking through Target and Wal-Mart. I've heard stories of woman who did their 3 year tour with out visiting the States and then upon moving home stood in front of an aisle in Target and cried because there were just too many choices. Many equate the shopping experience here as in living in Communist Russia. Don't worry, it's not that bad sometimes we over exaggerate. However, coming from a California grocer that has 3 quarters of one of their aisles dedicated to olives and then going to two choice at the commissary (green and black) can be discouraging. But, if one is diligent one can find other VERY fresh gourmet options off base.

Now that I'm all out of thoughts I'll end here. Let me know what you think of the names and nursery choices!

Itchin' for Food

My growing size seems to be the growing theme here on this blog. I can't tell you how nice my friends have been saying things like, "Oh you look so cute" and "I forgot you were pregnant. You haven't shown much at all!" They are the greatest friends a gal can have and I like to pretend that they are telling the truth. It helps me feel happy when I go to the CPO buffet lunch on base. My girlfriend introduced me yesterday to the CPO (Chief Petty Officer) club. For lunch they've got a $6.50 buffet that rivals anything else on base or elsewhere for the price. Fresh baked rolls, roast (sliced to your preference), cod in cream sauce, corn, carrot soup, rice,mashed potatoes and more. The menu changes everyday and it's packed with people almost every lunchtime. One of the girlfriends that took me is married to the head chef there. In the past he's worked for the Hilton (or Hyatt) in the Pacific. Being preggo, I had to go for the meat. I had 2 plates.....Hey, I'm eating for two! I did only have an apple and water for dinner because I was still full from lunch.

I'm pretty much in food mode these days. It doesn't help that before I was pregnant I had a little obsession with food. Since I'll be going back to Sacramento in a little more than a month from now, I'm trying to keep up with the current events there. For anyone from California they know about all of the fresh produce that can be picked up at Farmers Markets during the Summer. I absolutely LOVE summer cherries. Unfortunately the commissary doesn't sell them and out in town it's about $3.00 for about a cup of them. These are the days when I dream of the big bins of cherries that I could get from Costco or the heaping pile of cherries that I would see in a California produce department. I hope I can get them when I'm back there. In Sacramento there are Farmers Markets just about everyday of the week. I grew up in the state that as of 2006, had a GDP larger than all but eight countries in the world. The leading contributor of course was agriculture. (Fruits & Veggies)I was always spoiled growing up knowing that I could get just about any food fresh. My parents just remodeled their kitchen and I can't wait to go shopping at the markets and utilize all of their equipment. Of course in my 3rd trimester, I may not be feeling up to it but we'll have to see. FYI, here's the link I found for Sacramento's Local Markets: http://www.sacbee.com/995/story/894027.html


I've had to start rubbing lotion on my belly because it's starting to itch. However, I'm not too uncomfortable. I do take up much of the bed space in our little full size bed and in the morning I find Mike curled up in his corner clinging on to any blankets he can gather as I toss and turn through the night.

So as of now, wish me happy eating and happy itchin'

A Resource

I always forget about this site and then I get reminded after Joshua finishes watching Curious George. Parenting Boys can have it's own special challenges. Things have changed in the past 20-30 years for young boys. Especially in school:

• Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to flunk or drop out of school;

• When it comes to grades and homework, girls outperform boys in elementary, secondary, high school, college, and even graduate school;

• Boys are four to five times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD);
  

• Women outnumber men in higher education with 56 percent of bachelor's degrees and 55 percent of graduate degrees going to women.

According to the U.S. Department of Education:

• Boys make up two-thirds of the students in special education and are five times more likely to be classified as hyperactive.

These stats were taken from the PBS Parents website. It's a helpful resource for anyone raising boys in todays society. It's also a great resource for children in general. They don't just have advice but also fun and games for the kids and coloring sheets.

We've always been fans of PBS for kids. We also enjoy some of their other programs for us. Their is a recent mini series they've done called Carrier. I think that it really puts into light the fact that our soldiers and sailors are not killing machines but Sons, Daughters, Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Husbands, and Wives of America (sometimes not even citizens yet) who have made the an ultimate life sacrifice for the United States. Check out the links if you have a moment!

Classes

For Prenatal and Postnatal Mommies located on and around Yokosuka Navy Base, there are so many resources. For anyone PCSing and expecting a baby, fear not! Support systems are abound! I have never had any trouble with the Navy Hospital here. The quality care - I could not say enough good things about. Unfortunately, I think sometimes that military hospitals in general get a bad rap. But I can honestly say that I've never had to wait very long during my appointments. Additionally, the doctors take their time, listen to me, and answer any questions that I may have or point me in the right direction. Also, it's hard to be a bad doctor here, when in this small community we are bound to run into each other! I have also heard some good things about pregnancy clinics off base. Unfortunately, I don't have much information but I do know that once here, it's easy to find out. I'm also currently on the search for a prenatal massage and I think I've found a location. Now, just for the trick of actually, physically finding the location and then translating enough to ask for an appointment! I'm eager to explore that though.

At the gym, they have a fantastic prenatal yoga class. A good friend of mine actually instructs it. She's a mom herself (3 girls) and very knowledgeable in Yoga. She's also constantly trying out new and fun things. She sometimes works to get all of the ladies in her class together for lunches or small baby showers. Not only is it very healthy, but it's a good way to meet other expectant mothers.

Although sometimes expensive (but sometimes not), the Japanese have come up with some very nifty little baby gadgets. Something they just came out with in the States but can be picked up at any Daiso are little Velcro hooks for a stroller. Perfect for hanging shopping bags, purses, or diaper bags. In the Land of Extensive Walking, extra stroller space is always a plus. Walk into any Toys R Us or department store and you're likely to find a slew of baby slings and carriers. The strollers and car seats tend to be pretty pricey but worth checking out if you've got the time.

Many folks thinking about a visit to Japan but are wary of taking their babes... Fear Not! Child safety & quality standards are equal if not higher than in the USA. Anything you could ever need for your tiny tot is here. The Japanese are EXTREMELY child friendly (Save for the stereotypical Japanese salaryman, who are notorious for being rude and inconsiderate to both women and children). I think that's definitely a concern for friends or relatives who want to visit here but are concerned about not being able to find certain things that they can find in the States. Like the United States, Japan is one of the biggest consumer societies. Most likely anything can be found here for a baby. Promise.

Post-baby on base has a whole lot of classes as well. Yokosuka Navy Base is the land of pregnant women and new babies. Newcomers will not have a hard time finding a fellow mother to hang with. There are also breastfeeding groups, lactation consultants, & midwives. Along with emotional support, there is also a mommy and baby yoga class, and a stroller exercise class offered at the gym. If exercising with baby isn't your thing, there is a child watch program at the gym as well. Don't trust your precious babe with "just anyone"? You can also exercise on equipment while you watch your baby play. Classes run about $3.50 per class. For more info check out the CFAY webpage.

If you're a civilian (military spouses included) and need to work full time, try to get reserved ASAP (as in months before) at the Main CDC (Child Development Center). Spots are limited and waiting lists can be long. Another on base option is CDH (Child Development Homes).

When I found out about all of these classes, I was really looking forward to pregnancy and baby as I'll have a TON more support than I did the first time around.

As of now, I'm feeling huge. I'm starting to get those looks at the gym (the, "is she fat, pregnant or what?"). One of Mike's buddies said I should walk in there and start working out while eating a Ding Dong and say while onlookers are staring, "I'm maintaining!" I thought it was pretty hilarious myself.

Sleeping is becoming uncomfortable again and I'm busy thinking about whether it's a girl or boy. I had a dream that it was a boy. My girlfriends did a test where you hold a necklace over my belly and which ever way it goes determines the sex. Back and forth is boy, circular is a girl... I got back and forth. I also asked a friend's 6 year old daughter, who apparently has predicted 3 sexes of babies with a 100% accuracy. She said it's a boy. Of course, these are scientifically proven methods (Insert sarcastic voice here). This pregnancy has been pretty easy so far. I think the exercise is helping. I didn't exercise at all with Joshua. I feel a lot stronger in general and even though I'm tired a lot, I feel better than I did with the first pregnancy. However, I'm much more self-conscious about my size. I look bigger than a typical Japanese woman would look in her 9th month and that can be discouraging. Of course they do give birth to much smaller babies but for some reason that isn't a comfort to me while walking around town and seeing small little petite pregnant women waddling around. I'll have to put a picture up when I'm feeling particularly HUGE.

Traveling while Pregnant

While Mike's friends are in town, we are using the computer room for their stay. However, after they depart, we are going to transform this room into Joshua's room and Joshua's room into the Nursery. Hopefully all of this can be done before July when I board a plane with 4 year old in tow to Sacramento where I will have the baby. Early babies run in my family. Joshua was early and needed NICU facilities. Because the Navel hospital does not have them here, the baby would most likely be sent to the hospital in Tokyo. There are several people I know of who have had to do this and in general it is a stressful and overwhelming situation.

If we were military, I would be sent to the Okinawa Navel Hospital. However, I've been able to choose home instead. The majority of the Summer will be spent in Sacramento. I've got Joshua enrolled in Summer programs while we are there and I'll be busy getting ready for baby. This is the best way that I can be sure that the baby will have adequate care and I will not need to explore my way through a whole other on slot of culture mazes during an emotionally and physically trying time. If I had babies on their due date or, after my due date I may have thought about have a baby at a clinic. However, I'm still come from the belief that epidural s are a good thing. I don't know how I'd fair with natural style. YIKES

I'm really hoping that Mike will be there for the big day but there is a good chance he won't be which makes it so much better that I will have family and friends around. At least I hope so!

Baby Bunting

A friend of mine turned me on to some European bunting products. Particularly from Jacadi I'm really looking for a sewing pattern for a Baby Carry Nest so I can make something similar to what they are selling (since they don't sell it on their USA site). I've always been the type to go for name brands but second hand and discounted prices. I don't usually buy things at full price especially for a baby if I can stand it. I still hold true to wanting the best but not paying for it. Ebay and Craiglist are my friends! I also like making things that look similar to something I would get at a boutique. Joshua's crib bedding was surfer themed. For what I could have bought at a boutique for $500 I purchased everything for about $80 at a fabric store and spent about 2-3 days making it myself. Bedding is similar to sewing curtains.....pretty easy. Mike and I also bought Joshua's furniture at an unfinished wood store and painted it ourselves along with buying drawer knobs with a personality.

Making a Baby Carry Nest looks fairly easy to make by itself but I think I would do better with a pattern of some sorts to go by. I'm totally in nursery mode right now. The only piece of gear that I saved from Joshua was the crib that I got from my grandparents. They were moving and had a lovely Ragazzi crib in their nursery that they gave to me. It's a white sleigh style crib that really is gorgeous. I couldn't very well give that up. So, it's sitting in our storage unit waiting to be assembled again.

Anyways, I'm busy going to second hand stores and surfing the net to find the best bargains around.

5 months

So, maybe I should have started this a little earlier but I don't think the reality of a baby actually started surfacing until recently. I am pregnant. With my second child. I crumbled under the pressure of everyone having second babies and went with it. What was I thinking? One child is so easy. Mother nature finally kicked in. Convenient memory and reproductive hormones took over.

Now, reality memory is coming back. I'm remembering all the late nights, up all night, nursing woes, and all of the newborn stuff. I didn't have an easy first 6 months with Joshua. Looking back, he was an easy baby. He wasn't a crier. More like a grunter. I suppose it was more me than him. I was the first out of all my friends to have a child. I was also pretty young which made me feel a little bit like an outsider. I didn't necessarily have the same interests as many of the other new moms in Mission Hills, San Diego. Nor, did I have the same sized pocket book. Finances were tight and in a world where many mommies were pushing around Peg Perrego strollers, driving around with Britix Carseats, and enjoying Mexican Nannies, I was washing out ziploc bags, clipping coupons, making my own baby food before it was sheik, and living in a two bedroom apartment. I tried my best to make things look good. Buying his clothes second hand on ebay and his shoes at Ross and Marshall's. We were broke but, 'my kid was not going to look it for sure!' At least that was my attitude. Mike was always so supportive but many times it was my own self expectations that got in the way of his good intentions. Instead of being appreciative and excepting of his help, I often pushed it away. I thought that I could do it all. Which happens to be a running theme on my side of the family.

I'd like to think in the almost 5 years since then that I've learned a little. I'm not a bad mother if I don't get to the dishes in the evening or make the bed in the morning. It's actually a good thing to except the help of my husband. It's not all about me. That my pushing him away was actually like saying to him 'Your not capable of handling this baby thing' which is so not the case. The fact that I'm chopped liver in his (Joshua's) eyes and Daddy is the sun and moon proves how valuable Mike is. Excepting and asking for help is OK.

Nursing doesn't always come easily. Throughout human history that's been proven. The use of cows milk, and wet nurses wasn't just because mommy had better things to do but because it might have depended on the survival of a baby. I'd say the whole nursing thing is one of the first over the top and unnecessary stresses currently in the world of newborns. Lactation consultants do and can actually help and, their worth the money if you get a good one. I remember not asking for help in this department because again the expectation of being the perfect mom and the embarrassment of admitting failure (especially in this department) to anyone was frightening. I don't know if I'll succeed this time around but I have more tools for success and, (I'll have to go back and read this 100 times post baby) If I can't breastfeed, I will move on.....I am not a bad mother for this and I am not poisoning my child with formula. I will tell the lactation Nazis to kiss my.....well, you catch my drift. Nursing is important to me but I will not let it consume me.

In the beginning of this entry, I joked about crumbling under the pressure and mother natures maniacal ways but really, it came down to a lot of things. A girlfriend of mine placed it in the most perfect scenario. She said, "If you went to the doctor tomorrow and he said you couldn't have any more children, would you be sad?" My answer was yes. Despite the few stop offs at the ER with Joshua.....we've done a pretty darn good job with him. He's good to his friends and good to his parents and he's VERY happy. He makes us laugh with the goofy things that he says on a day to day basis and has been such a blessing in our lives. A sibling will complete our family in so many more ways then I'm sure I can imagine now.

I'm starting to really look forward to this. We are just in a better situation now the second time around then we were for the first. I'm checking out all of the baby sites and I know now what kind of crap I don't need. I'm also shamelessly begging for all kinds of baby gear and maternity wear.

So, the verdict is still out....boy or girl? I find out May 30th but, what do you think?