Saying Goodbye to Nursing

Just to warn anyone out there who is male and reading this blog (which would be a little weird anyway). This is definitely a chick entry if one couldn't tell from the title.

Samuel is now 9 months old and so much fun. Already cruising around furniture. Smiling and laughing, tackling his brother, saying mama and dada and baba. There is one mile stone that I wasn't ready for yet and that way self weaning.

I was beginning to think about the possibility of weaning at one year. I wondered how a mother would do it. Would I give him a bottle or, just skip the bottle and go strait to a sippy cup? Would I give him formula for older babies or just cows milk? It came as a total surprise that I wasn't going to be the one to decide when I should stop nursing. About a week ago Samuel just refused me. He had never done anything like this before. He wasn't sick, teething, congested, or not hungry. He just flat out didn't want me. I kept on trying for a couple of days. I always offered up the goods before the bottle but it always was the same result. He wasn't screaming when I offered he just looked up at me with a rather plane face almost saying, "what is this?"

I am really sad about this. I wanted to be able to do a full year. A part of me is in the emotional throws of wanting to comfort and nurture my baby. The other part of me feels a bit like a failure. I explained to my husband that I feel like a marathon runner who at week before the big race broke her leg. During my nursing journey (and every part of it is a journey) I dealt with several bouts of mastitis. Even a time when he wouldn't except a bottle. I struggled at the beginning with feeling as though I was carrying the load of motherhood on my own. Around the 6 month mark, I felt as though I could come up for air. Like, I finally got the swing of things but I didn't see this coming at all.

There are definitely positives to this but for now I am coping with the fact that this is the end of a phase and that my baby will soon be a toddler.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

Nothing intimidated me more during this pregnancy than attempting breastfeeding again. I had a very difficult time the first time around. Of course there were many obstacles right off the bat that made it challenging. I was 5 years younger and like many first time moms thought it was going to come natural. For some lucky first timers it does but, for many others it doesn't. In the states it can feel like the ultimate defeat as a mother. There are many folks who are so gung ho on the idea of nursing that many mothers that can not or choose not to are given unsolicited advice, presented with malice comments and harsh opinions. This was an experience I had the first time around. Many women have been known to say things like, 'Your just not trying hard enough', or ' You know giving your baby formula is like poisoning them'. These comments are inconsiderate enough but to a sleep deprived, stressed out, self conscious new mother they can be devastating. Especially when these comments come from fellow mothers. The very same women we'd like to provide us with positive support during such a trying time.

Anyway, enough said on my opinions of breast feeding Nazis. Suffice to say that I was nervous about the second time around. I do have to say that it's going well though. So far. I am taking it one day at a time. There are many things that have made it easier this time around though. I've had a ton of help, Samuel was a full term baby, when I had him I was able to experience "skin to skin" meaning that right when he came out they plopped him on me with a blanket and let him stay there for a while and did I mention, I've had a lot of help? I'd like to think I have a different attitude about things as well and I kinda spent 9 months preparing for what I (sort of) knew was coming.

The labor went well and the hospital stay was nice in fact, I'm a big advocate of giving women more time at the hospital after delivery! 2 nights just isn't enough.

Since 3 weeks ago, Samuel has become much more alert and he's using his hands much more. He thinks for some reason that flailing his hands in his mouth when he's about to latch, helps his frantic search for food. When in reality it just delays the milk coma. He does tend to use me as a pacifier from time to time and it has become irritating. He's no fool for the "binky". He's taken it several times but for some reason I think he's on to us. He has his cranky time every day. It usually starts around 4:00-5:00 at night and continues until around 8:00-9:00. Many folks call it "The Witching Hours" Right now it's about 5:30 and he's spent an hour and a half on me nursing. I passed him off to Daddy for a little break. As soon as Dad takes him, he starts crying. It's as if Mike started pinching him or something. It's given Mike a chance to try all different kinds of holds on him though. He must have found something that's working because I don't hear anything. I have been pumping. My good friend Nathalie gave me her pump. Knowing how much I've used it this time around, I have to say I would have put down good money for one of my own. Even renting one from the hospital is a good thing. If anything, I think it helps with my milk supply. I absolutely love the Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags. They make cleaning the pump parts and bottles so easy. I also really love Lily Padz re-usable nursing pads. They are so much better than the disposables in that they don't show at all under clothing. I sent some to my sister-in-law who just had a baby. I hope she doesn't think I'm too weird. Oh yes, and a nursing cover. I like to call them hooter hiders. They used to go by that name but now that brand is known as Bebe au Lait. All though their covers are very cute, nursing moms can get just as cute covers on Etsy for a fraction of the cost. Although these covers are handy to have in public, I've hated using them. They are hot and cumbersome, especially when I'm still learning good technique.

Our journey home should be a little simpler due to the fact that I won't have to take any bottles or formula on a 11 hour flight back home. I do have to say though that the idea of being able to go 6 hours without feeding (with formula) to the breast fed 3 hours (which a lot of times turns into every hour) does seem tempting at times!

Breastfeeding is an adventure but this time around it's been a positive one.

Ettore's

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's Ettore.....

Alright I know that's not the right words but I thought that the idea fit. As everyone has heard me complain about during this pregnancy, I endured gestational diabetes during my pregnancy and during that time was extremely diligent with my numbers. After Samuel's arrival, I requested a present from a local European style cake shop. There is a story behind this. Ettore's was the place we used for our wedding cake a little over 5 years ago. (April 23rd same as my parents anniversary). We tasted an array of cake flavors and decided that the "princess" flavor be on the top tier of the cake. It was the flavor that Mike and I enjoyed the most (raspberry with white chocolate, and a mild almond butter cream frosting) but knew that it might not suit everyone's pallet. Needless to say during the festivities, that flavor was the first to go at the reception and Mike and I enjoyed the bottom chocolate tier (that was very good but no princess flavor!). It's been 5 years and I still hadn't let it go. It was always in the back of my mind. Several weeks ago I was reminded when we drove my Ettore's and I mentioned it to Mike.

On our way home from the hospital we made a quick stop. Low and behold, Mike got us a princess flavored cake from Ettore's specially ordered (they usually used whip frosting not butter cream) in a green color (he could have pink or green but pink is for girls!) . I have the best husband ever. Besides the whole cake thing, he has been a tremendous source of help and support during these first few days. I am truly blessed.

I'm still snacking on the cake and luckily no one in my family likes the flavor so, I get it all to myself!

No Baby Yet-Please stop asking

I am officially in a VERY bad mood. If one more person says, "No baby yet?" Or, "boy, you should start walking a lot." I'm going to scream. Obviously, I have no baby yet. If I did, the huge bulge in front of me would be outside of me wrapped up in a carrier or stroller and, look a lot cuter. I now have weekly doctors appointments and now, since I have a lot of fluid I have additional bi-weekly appointments at the hospital to monitor the babies movements. I've been having signs for weeks that it should be any day. I've tried just about every method to speed things along.

I know I should be thankful that I'm getting some of the best medical care I can get and this baby has been monitored better than Fort Knox. This most likely will be the last time I'll be pregnant and I should be appreciating that I'll be having a nice fat term baby. After all, that is what I prayed so hard for. I guess I just didn't factor in everything when I requested that. :) I wanted so much for Mike's parents to be here for Sam's arrival and they will be leaving in a couple of days and, I've been away from home for 2 months. Mike's been away from home and work now for 1 month. We all miss home and our routines. I love my parents but staying with anyone for this long and living out of suitcases is taxing.

This is my sounding board.....sorry if I'm sounding rediculous. Chalk it up as a crazy pregnant woman.

Another Check up

Doctor says I'm doing well. Samuel is in position and I'm at 1 centimeter......Mike and I went for a 1 hour walk last night. Nothin'.

Mike's parents are coming into town and all I can think about is having this baby so that they can meet him during their visit. We were all betting on an early baby and it looks as though we've all been duped. He's just way too comfortable in there!

Everything else with me is healthy. My total weight gain is actually staying pretty much at 20 lbs. which I hope stays the same. I don't even want to think about my body having to come back to normal!

We see you!

One of the benefits of having gestational diabetes is that we are fortunate enough to get another sneak peek of Samuel before his arrival. The idea is to check the size of the baby to make sure that he's not too big (one of the side effects of a GD baby is that they can turn into little incredible hulks. The result can be shoulder injury during birth). I wasn't too worried because I've been really following the rules when it comes to my diet restrictions and my sugar numbers have stayed for the most part within the range or very close to it.

Going into the ultrasound lab today I honestly wasn't expecting much. At this point because the skeleton's bones are dense (as they should be) there is a lot of shadowing which makes it hard to see images. I was pleasantly surprised. The little guy is in position and ready to go. We saw a pretty clear face shot and profile shot. I have to say the best part was watching him yawn and stick his tongue out. He has his Daddy's tongue. Also known as the Gene Simmon's tongue. There was also the quintessential image of the thumb in mouth. Oh yes, and for the 3rd time I was notified once again that it's another boy!

Can't wait to see you Samuel!

Waking up is hard to do

Last night my parents celebrated the garage sale that they had by making a really good dinner. BBQ Steak, potatoes, asparagus, and salad. My brother was in town from college visiting, so it was a full house with 8 people. Needless to say, it ended up being a late night and Mike and I made it later by watching an episode of Carrier. Joshua also stayed up past his bedtime and yesterday for him was a sugar fest. I thought it would be a good treat on a Saturday to give him a sugary cereal, so for breakfast he got to have some Cocoa Puffs. A few hours later we went over to my parents old house to help them with a garage sale. They had doughnuts there, so of course Grammy gave him a doughnut. After we finished up with the garage sale there was a small break between sugar binges. I gave him turkey pepperoni, cheese and some olives for a lunch/heavy snack. Evening set in and my sister decided she was going to make cookies. Guess who helped her clean the beaters? After dinner he was treated to gummy worms and M&M's for dessert. SHEESH!

I was hoping for sure that since he stayed up late, we would be able to sleep in. Unfortunately, I was wrong on that assumption. Around 6:00am he started tossing and turning. When we are all sleeping in the same room, it's hard to just ignore even tossing and turning. Then the smacking noise starts and his exaggerated yawning sounds coming into play. That's also when he starts picking his nose in a very noisy fashion. I thought that I might be able to ignore this. However, a few minutes earlier I got up to use the restroom (in typical pregnant lady fashion) and it gave Samuel just enough room to start doing somersaults in my belly and kicking my ribs. With distractions like this, I just decided to surrender and get up. Playhouse Disney is my best friend on mornings like this.

The crazy part is, it won't get better any time soon. I will be getting up in the middle of the night soon for more than just a potty break. I better appreciate it now!

Yesterday, we also took a trip to the Goodwill. Joshua needed jeans and even at Target, they were selling for about $20. That's almost the same price that they were selling men's jeans. I couldn't bring myself to pay that much for something that he would most likely grow out of or tear up 6 months down the road. It's not just Goodwill near my parents store but the Goodwill Superstore. Sweet! We found 3 pairs of jeans for him. The best part of going to a Goodwill in California is that we could find barely used snowsuits. In this part of California, most folks go to the snow a few times during the season (Lake Tahoe) and they are done, so I was thrilled when I found a snowsuit for Joshua. I know that we'll be going to see the snow more when we go home (Mt. Fuji here we come!). I also found him some great snow boots and Mike found a nice pair of shorts. I also found a still-in-the-package meal/eating set for the baby. Playtex brand, with Baby Einstein characters. All for the grand total of $29.00. Only $9.00 more than one pair of jeans at Target. I figure at this point in Joshua's childhood, he doesn't care about name brands. Sure, I splurge and get him shirts at Gymboree & Gap (on sale!) and I spent a small fortune on his school shoes because we found out he'll need inserts for his flat feet, but I'm still OK going to get him previously owned clothes as well. I'll worry about going into debt over the name brand crud when he gets older, but for now give me all the hand me downs I can get!